


Ashes to Ashes

by spectre_corvo



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, Loss, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 16:07:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28977150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spectre_corvo/pseuds/spectre_corvo
Summary: "Once one of us has finally joined the other in death, I ask that our ashes be spread together.""I may be asking the impossible, I'm fully aware of that. But please, when it is finally my time, take us to the sea."A story in which Hange Zoe fulfills the wishes of two of their dearest friends.
Relationships: Levi/Erwin Smith
Comments: 8
Kudos: 52





	Ashes to Ashes

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on a headcannon I recently came up with and it's something I honestly think could have happened had things been different.

Hange Zoe stood alone on the cliff overlooking the vast expanse of the endless sea. Far below, the ocean seemed to roar as the waves threw themselves against the jutted rock. The sun shone brightly but the air was cold as it bit into Hange's cheeks. The salty air blew against their face, tossing their hair in every direction.

In Hange's gloved hands were two small wooden boxes, one carved with _ES_ and the other _LA_ , and tucked under their elbow were two weathered green cloaks emblazoned with the Scout's historic Wings of Freedom. 

It had not been easy to keep their promise, and it had taken much longer than Hange would have liked, but war left no time for sleeping, let alone a few moments to grieve. The boxes had sat at the bottom of a chest for years as the war with the outside world had waged on. For years, a rock had sat heavy in Hange's heart. 

"Isn't it beautiful." Hange clutched the boxes a little closer to their chest. "I'm sorry it took me so long. You know how war can be. But we did it, and I know you guys are out there somewhere celebrating with us."

Somewhere in the distance, a seagull cried.

"You kept your promises, and now I'm finally keeping mine."

❃

A sharp knock pulled Hange from their daze. They turned around and saw Levi standing in the doorway. He wore an expression that was somehow even heavier than usual.

"Hey Levi, something wrong?"

Levi sat in the chair across from Hange, crossing his right leg over his left. He kept shifting and fidgeting as if he couldn't get comfortable. His body eventually settled, but his fingers continued to tap his crossed arms. Moments later, Levi uncrossed his arms and folded his hands together in a white-knuckled grip. 

"Do you have any tea?" 

It was unlike Levi to stall, but Hange made no comment. They heated the water and felt themselves begin to drown in the heavy silence that suffocated the room. There was no noise save for the crackling fire and the constant shift of fabric every time Levi changed his position. 

Hange tapped their boot nervously on the floor, something that Levi would ordinarily chastise them for almost immediately. They glanced over their shoulder and saw that Levi was in no way aware of Hange. His eyes seemed to have glazed over and he was clearly somewhere else entirely.

Once Hange handed Levi a fresh cup of steaming tea, his restless hands were preoccupied and finally stilled. However, Levi made no move to drink the tea. Even when Hange sat back down, he simply stared at a space somewhere beyond the cup. 

Eventually, he spoke.

"I need to ask you a favour." Levi's eyes never left the floor. 

Hange cocked their head. Levi never asked for anything. He had always been an ask for forgiveness rather than permission type, ever since the day Hange had met him. 

"Of course." Hange did their best to keep their voice from betraying their unease. It was likely failing. "What do you need?"

"I've been thinking lately, since... Ever since Erwin..." Levi frowned, seemingly unable to finish his sentence. "I always knew it could happen to anyone at any moment. I thought I was prepared." He took a deep breath. "But he was different." 

Hange felt their heart break. "I know."

"Truthfully, I'd never considered the fact that I might outlive him. I always thought I would be able to protect him at all costs, even if I died trying. At the very least, I thought we would go together." Levi's breath hitched. "But with everything that happened at Shiganshina- Just... Fuck!" 

Hange had no words. What was there to say? All they could do was take the tea from Levi's shaking hands and set it aside. With his hands free once more, Levi ran them fervently through his hair, pulling, grasping, like they were reaching to grab hold of something that was no longer there.

"The only reason I wake up in the morning is that fucking promise I made him. I wish I hadn't because I want nothing more than to follow him." Levi's voice broke. Hange couldn't see his face, but the slight tremor in his shoulder told them everything they needed to know. 

"That bastard made sure I kept on living." 

Hange had never seen Levi cry, hadn't really thought he was capable. There was no dramatic sobbing, yelling, or heaving of breath, but that made it all the more heartbreaking. But in that moment, a broken man stood before them, a man who never allowed himself to grieve, a man who had forgotten how to cry. 

Hange sat still. They wanted nothing more than to reach out and give Levi some form of physical reassurance, but they knew that was the last thing he needed. So they sat in silent support and waited patiently.

"The ashes," he finally spoke. Levi lifted his head and looked Hange right in the eyes for the first time that night. His dark, tear-soaked irises seemed to sparkle in the low candle light.

"I don't know what will happen out there, especially now that we know how big the world truly is. So, I need you to do something for me if- _when_ I go."

"Levi-"

"I may be asking the impossible, I'm fully aware of that. But please, when it is finally my time, take us to the sea." Levi smiled sadly. "He never got to see it. I know this is cliche as hell, but I want us to be able to fly over it together."

The tears spilled over Hange's eyes and they nodded. "Of course! Of course, Levi! I will do everything I can to make sure the two get there, even if it's the last thing I do."

"Thank you, Hange. You are the only one I could ask this of." 

"Levi!" Hange leaped out of the chair and wrapped their arms around Levi. The positioning was awkward and uncomfortable, but Levi made no immediate attempt to remove himself from Hange's iron hold. He simply patted their arms and let his head rest against their shoulder. 

Once Hange's sobs had somewhat subsided, they released Levi and sat back down in their chair. They reached blindly for something to wipe their face with and laughed when Levi threw one of his handkerchiefs at them. The laugh quickly turned into another sob and hange bawled as they took the handkerchief and tried to blow their nose. It was obnoxious and ugly, but Hange couldn't care less (and though he usually would, Levi didn't either). 

When Hange was finished, they held the handkerchief out towards Levi who waved his hand in mild disgust. Hange pocketed the soiled handkerchief and sighed.

"You know, I believe the two of you were made for each other." 

Levi hummed. "What makes you say that?"

"Erwin came to me once and asked me the exact same thing."

Levi's lips curled ever so slightly at that. "Of course he did." 

"I cried like a fool then too."

"I'm sure you did."

❃

_"I hope with all my heart that I will not have to experience life without him by my side, and I earnestly wish the same for him. However, it is likely that I will have to leave him first. If that is the case, I need to ask two things of you._

_"One, take care of him for me. If I'm not around, I need someone I can trust watching over him. I know you likely would regardless, but I need to know that someone will be there when I can't._

_"Second, once one of us has finally joined the other in death, I ask that our ashes be spread together. My favourite sight in this world has always been watching him soar, and it is one that I wish to see even in death. I don't have personal attachments to any particular locations, so let him decide. I am certain he will have a place perfect for the both of us to spread our wings."_

❃

Though Levi and Erwin had been two of the smartest people Hange had known, the two of them had also been complete idiots. Idiots who had not been allowed the chance to properly explore any feelings they may have had. Idiots who were far too concerned with the greater good of humanity. Idiots who, in another life, may have been able to live out the greatest love story the world has ever seen. 

Idiots, perhaps, but they had been each others'.

Hange's throat burned and tears ran hot down their face as they opened the boxes. "Damnit, I miss you guys a lot, but someone had to stay here and help those brats rebuild the world."

Hange overturned both boxes at the same time and the ashes were immediately picked up by the wind. They mingled and mixed together to the point where they appeared to have come from the same person.

In a way, they had. 

Through the thick haze of tears, Hange could have sworn they saw snow drifting out into the sea.

"Say hi to Moblit and Mike and all the others. I miss you all fiercely."

Hange unfolded the cloaks and looked at the all too familiar sigil. There was something in the way that the wings blew in the ocean wind, flailing as if desperate to take off. 

They let go.

As Hange watched the cloaks drift off towards the horizon, they swore they saw a flash of blond and black. 

❃

Somewhere far away, two souls set out on a journey across the seas. It was as if they had sprouted a matching pair of wings. They knew not if the journey would end, nor did they know what lay beyond the horizon. However, they cared not, for they had each other.

Somewhere far away, two souls soared on wings of freedom.

❃

**Author's Note:**

> This was utter pain to write and I cried multiple times throughout, but I'm proud of how it turned out. I hope you liked it!


End file.
